My first thought on my newest corner of the internet
When I think about blogging...
It never fails to amuse me that I went from platform to platform, writing for years. Never really saying anything worth remembering. Yet I still ended up calling myself a 'blogger' because 'writer' feels like a lie.
Now that I'm reaching my mid 30s, I'm reflecting on how I've restrained from publishing online. Part of that is fear of failure/success. Another part is not feeling the need to announce every thought I have to the world because I like my internal world to have no critics other than myself.
And I've come to realize that memento mori is a lot more than just remembering one day I'll be gone.
It's stupid of me to not be leaving traces behind, even if it's only digital. A majority of our existence is experienced through clever machinery and code, so a blog is the most basic thing I can restart.
However, I only ever manage to keep a habit of writing for spurts of time rather consistency, which means my journaling and blogging aren't exactly the best time line. Every time I feel bad about that failure to write, I remember that there's other people who've never used a pen to paper or touched a real keyboard to write out their thoughts.
What kind of trace will they leave behind if there's no inner world thoughts occasionally breaking to the surface?
So I get to drafting and never publishing again. But this time, I'll hit publish every time, because I finally found a blog corner that doesn't expect me to monetize my memories.
I don't know where I was going with this—I mostly just wanted to get a thought I've been having out into the void.